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Monday, July 21, 2003

Democratic Conference Expansion-Ben noted this morning that "by adding just three more candidates, the Democratic Party could hold a NCAA conference championship game next year." Let's look at some likely candidates. International expansion is the dream of many, but since he's both not a US citizen and already booked as Prime Minister, Tony Blair declined the invitation. Jean Chretien is steamed that he didn't get considered; well, if you play football with 11 players, they might let you in. With everyone in the race east of (or hugging, in the case of Gephardt) the Mississippi, westward expansion seems to be the most likely route to go. A team on the West Coast would make since, possibly two, to cover the Pacific time zone market. Gary Locke would make a good choice; he'd bring the Asian market as well and have a Husky warchest to contribute to the race. Since he's not running for a third term next year, a Seattle based member would make sense. The next underrepresented spot would be the Southwest. Normally, we'd look to Texas, but the pickings are rather slim. Instead, we'll look west to New Mexico's governor, Bill Richardson. How many governors have UN rep on their resume? He won't have to suffer the classic governor's joke that his foreign policy expertise comes from going to the International House of Pancakes. Since there are two blacks in the race, adding an Hispanic candidate would make sense. While we're looking west, we'll of course need to include the Cereal State, home of flakes, fruits and nuts. Diane Feinstein would be a natural choice. She'll add both national and local expertise to the race, and give Carol Mosely Braun someone to go to the ladies room with during candidate dinners. Now then, how do we divide them up into conferences? Here, we'll do it on ideology, with the merely liberals going into the Red Division and the hard-core progressives in the Green Division. We thought about switching Locke and Feinstein, but no one's completely happy with any divisional layout. Red Division-Gephardt, Richardson, Locke, Lieberman, Graham, Edwards Green Division-Kucinich, Kerry, Dean, Mosley Braun, Sharpton, Feinstein Now, some would argue that the Green Division is too loaded, with the two leading candidates. Tell that to the SEC, who had Florida-Tennessee winners go on to face weak Western Division winners. The Kerry-Dean match will dictate the Green champ. Edwards, being a lawyer, will have home court advantage in the Red Division, but it still should come down to a Gephardt-Lieberman race.

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