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Tuesday, February 04, 2003

Edifier du Jour-1 Samuel 16:7(NASB)
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
I don't want to make myself out to be the next David, but that verse spoke to me this morning. I've been struggling to figure out whether I belong in teaching and whether I'm too sensitive and too transparent to be a good teacher. I'm not a leader in the "over the ridge, boys" mode, nor am I an actor. However, God places value in our hearts, not in the facades we place before the world. I've struggled to fit in, for I'm lousy at putting on facades. I'm like that good 'ol boy in the beer ad; ask me "How'ya doing" and I'll let you know how I am doing. I'm like David in that Saul's armor doesn't fit and I have to go into battle without that protection of pretension. I've struggled with being a good classroom lecturer, for that puts me, and all my tenderness and sensitivities, front and center for all to see. God judges the heart, and a pure (or at least as pure as humans get) heart is what He wants us to show the world. I'm finding that I need to be more open rather than less in how I deal with people; it sure doesn't conform to the world and leaves you open to occasional ridicule, but its a sign of that contrite heart that God seeks to give us. That's not to say that I have to turn every class into a sob session (that's not going to work in finance and economics) but I'd rather be sensitive and caring while still maintaining classroom discipline and presenting the material rather than being a drill sergeant. Let God do some interior decorating; the outside facade will take care of itself.

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