Wednesday, September 25, 2002

Midday Musings-Kevin's Holtsberry ain't in no blog funk today, fer shur. He's got a lot of good pickings-go check 'em out. Great-it looks like we're going to get another round of Hindu-Muslim mob violence in Gujarat after someone blew up a Hindu temple. The PM's blaming Pakistan, but he'd blame his next headcold on Pakistani germ warfare. Looks like the hurricane season started to get interesting. Isidore's heading for Louisiana and Lili might be heading to Florida by way of Cuba. Just a thought-how will Cuba hold up after getting schmucked by both Isidore and Lili? Lileks takes apart a anti-war-weenie from toe to toncil. I offer this passage in the Freestyle Pop Culture Allusion catagory.
. But let’s say we go with the Special Forces option. Let’s say we even use our fearsome brigade of sitcom writers who specialize in tear-jerking episodes, aka the Very Special Forces. They’d have to hit all the palaces at the same time, just for starters. Ever seen a picture of the palaces? Especially the one with a moat the size of New Hampshire? They’d have to get in, find Saddam, find the lookalikes - Saddam apparently has that same machine Harcourt Fenton Mudd had in the Star Trek episode, and he whips up a batch of dupes every fortnight. AND they wouldn’t have the distraction of a war to help them out. It might be easier to kill Saddam while he’s distracted by the sound of nine thousand cans of Yankee whup-ass being opened overhead, but spec-ops option has them going in without an invasion. But let’s say it works! What’s left? The Republican Guard, the SRG, the secret police, and the rest of the entrenched Tikrit mob. Meet the new Ba’aths; same as the old Ba’aths. And now the world community clamors for a return to inspections and international accords. Why, Saddam’s gone; wasn’t that what we wanted? We got our regime change. Tonight we’re going to party like it’s 1991. Look, I’d love for these things to work. I don’t want war. I’d love to leave it all to James Bond or some grim nimble throat-slitters or Jim Phelps and the Mission: Impossible team. That would be wonderful. But it won’t work and it won’t happen. Which brings us to the Gore speech.
"Bud, what did you think of that routine?" "A very high degree of difficulty. That Steve Austin-Who-Prince triple combination is something few writers ever try in competition, and he landed it flawlessly."

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